Unaccomplished

2009 was kind of a bumper year for me. At the very end of 2008 I switched jobs and wound up (finally) in my dream job (woot). I finished my first novel mid 2009 and successfully completely NaNoWriMo for the second year in a row. Overall, I was feeling very accomplished-- very much like everything was on track for 2010 to be the best year of all.

And then... editing struck. My first novel had some really lovely concepts and ideas-- but the book I’d written and the book I started out writing were two very different stories. Stories that would need comprehensive months of editing to merge into one readable draft. Our writing group began to set deadlines and make up schedules to swap around our stories... At the time I was completely in denial about the amount of work it would take to produce a draft I felt vaguely confident in showing to other people (even my most trusted readers). So, when the first deadline came up, I had to admit I had failed. I was unable to send out a draft-- but I still had a draft to read from my friend. So, I was now editing a rough manuscript and reading a friend’s draft. Then, the next deadline came along and I was again still working on my novel, editing my friend’s draft and then editing a second draft. Everything had snowballed quite quickly and I was buried.

For a few weeks I felt completely overwhelmed and defeated. I made no progress on any fronts-- not my own work or my friends. I hadn’t just let myself down but now I was letting down my group. I was more upset to see my group let down, if I’m honest.

Then, I began to regroup. My first novel had to be broken before I would be able to see any real progress. I had to get through they very shaky beginning (and the eight new scenes I had to write to tie the two stories together). So, I spoke to my first friend and she agreed it was more important to get my story moving. Two weeks of just concentrating on my book meant I was able to ‘break the back’ of the whole mess. I was able to set a goal for editing my novel and working on hers again. Just taking a tiny bit more time meant I was able to get everything back on track.

Here is the big lesson I’ve learned-- when you work as a group you have to do what works best for the group, but you have to remember what works best for you. I am not great with deadlines. I usually have to set one, then push it back a few times. And as I’m not a professional writer and I’m doing everything in my ‘spare’ time this is fine. If this was my ‘day job’ then I’d just have to embrace deadlines and make them happen (I do just that very successfully in my day job). I work well with small weekly goals. A tiny checklist of things I need to do to move my work forwards. A huge looming deadline doesn’t generally work for me. Maybe it’s my ADHD-- but something so big tends to boggle my brain. It makes me only see the big end result and not the small obtainable steps I need to break everything down into to get there. Now, I’ve got the quiet confidence I was lacking to admit when what I’m working on needs more time. It’s not a race, and while I’m still working on my first novel I’ve finished editing my friend’s first novel and am about two third’s of the way through my second friend’s. I am able to get their stories back to them so that I am no longer letting them down as well. Which is beyond important to me. My work can wait-- but making sure my group is getting the support they need really matters to me. I really don’t mind being behind-- because at least being ‘behind’ I’m making progress. Before, when I was in denial and trying to struggle to stay on schedule, I was just spinning my wheels.

I will never again have the freedom I did in 2008 to just write one project. Going forward I will always be writing something and editing something (maybe not at the same time-- but they will definitely overlap). So, rather than look at 2010 as a series of failures-- or missed goals, I am looking at it as a chance to learn a new skill base. A new way of working on multiple projects that ends in good results.

Poking a Jellyfish with a Stick... And Hoping not to Get Stung

It seems I'm having a few problems this week getting the process going. I'm currently editing two stories concurrently (try saying that three times fast....), mostly because I figure that when I hit a roadblock on one, I can do something with the other.

This is, of course not always the case, but it does seem to be working for now.

The problem is that I'm finding myself leaning more towards the one that reads more easily than the other that needs more work. The one that needs more work needs almost a full re-write. The story just doesn't work as is. The characters are flat, the story comes to it's conclusion far too quickly, and like Pandora's Box, having unlocked the endgame, it's proving hard to stuff the crap back in there to make the darn thing work. The easy one, I'm finding I'm just skimming along. Occasionally, I hit some little thing, make a note about it and move on. Easy as pie. I can almost see the end from here (although I know I'll be telling myself to "work on this").

I just end up feeling guilty because, like last week, I spend the larger part of my time reading the good one -- ten, twenty pages at a time --, while I'm doing maybe a page a week for rewrites of the other. But, at the same time, it's hard for me to balance that out more. I just don't know, right now, how to fix the story that needs work.

Ugh. Well, I'll take the blessings with the burdens. Hopefully, by the time I've sorted the edits on the easier story, I can come back to the harder one with renewed purpose.

But, does anyone have any advice?

Butt-in-chair method has gotten all of the stories I've written thus far (4!) together, and while editing is always slow, I've been pretty fortunate that the one that's got me stumped has been the only one with the problems I'm having. Along with everything else -- shaky plot, faded characters, hard-to-work with character with perhaps too unique a problem for my writing ability -- I'm also having Premature Ending Syndrome. I feel like I've stumbled over this ending and found "Surprise! You've got nothing else here!"

And it's got me scratching my head, looking at a re-write. Maybe the sea monsters came in over night and stole the rest of the book. Things go missing, perhaps it was the kelpie. Who knows?

So, come on people. The floor is yours. What should I do? Keep on keeping on with the one that works and set this aside? Or should I set aside the easy path? Is there a real compromise between the two that can be had? I'd appreciate any and all feedback.

Reading Something Old New Again

I'm going way off topic this week, but it's because of a certain call I've been answering. And I think that call has to do with all of the edits (and writing) I've been working on.

When I love a story, I always want more. I'll read and re-read the same book again and again. For example, I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen. And, while I haven't read all of her novels, the ones I have read, I read again. And again. She never wrote sequels of her most beloved books. But, other people have.

Just like Sense and Sensibility, I find myself re-reading the Pamela Aiden series Fitzwilliam Darcy, A Gentleman. But, every time I do, it brings to mind a question I've been asking myself for many years. Something of a debate I've held with myself over my guiltiest of pleasures. When is it art and homage and when is it just fan fiction?

I've Been Workin' on the Railroad....

Okay... perhaps it's not that bad. In fact, I am rather proud of this week's accomplishments, all things considering.

I made my writing goal last week by Thursday (This week: 3600. Onward Ho!) and decided not to push it. Not knowing how much time I would be able to devote to either endeavor over the course of the weekend, I had decided to take a little time during the long ride out to a friend's wedding (CONGRATS AGAIN, JAMES AND AMY!!!) and work on some editing. And boy did I ever. Between the car rides there and back, when I wasn't driving, I was able to finish most of chapter one. I added a little over 3000 words -- which is great because I eliminated a lot, probably about 3000 words or more (and if I continue with the edits that I've been contemplating will be just the start of an entire overhaul of the next four chapters and the elimination of most, if not all of chapter two). I was surprised at how easily it worked. Some trips I find I can't do anything at all, while others have some crazy abundance, maybe to make up for the ones where I sit for seven or more hours in the car (or bus or plane or train) and ask my SO over and over again "are we there yet?" (I fear for the day we have children. He may lose it. Seriously.)

Here is where my confidence lags, though. I honestly wonder if I'll be able to keep this level of productivity up now, and if I do, will I run out of whatever it is that's been buoying me these last few weeks during NANO? Perhaps, perhaps not.

I would feel a little better, going into NANO if I felt some things were off my plate. And if I did more research into what I'll be writing for NANO. It wasn't something I could work on this weekend, because until Sunday night, I was without internet. I suppose part of this shaky confidence is knowing that what I did (and have been doing) is frankly insane in the light of what Jenny and Ginny are doing. What do I think I am, trying to edit and write at the same time?

But, on some level I saw it as a kind of "free time." I'd already done my goals for this week.

On the other hand, if I'd used that free time to work on my current writing story, would I have gotten 3000 more words out of myself (doubling my goals and getting me that much closer to having this finished before NANO)? Or would I have had a car ride of staring at the lovely turning leaves but asking myself as my power slowly dwindled -- on so many levels -- are we there yet?

So, I suppose the ultimate question I'm posing is, is it smart of me to have taken this route this week and divided my time between two worlds, as it were, which may or may not get me closer to eliminating one of the balls in the air in my right hand? Or should I have taken a more decisive step towards finishing the story I'm still writing, thereby moving that ball from my left to my right?

What do you think?

Adventures in Editing II: Returning to the Scene of the Crime

As you may have guessed, I'm a bit of a corny writer. I love puns. But as I've completed my read-through portion of my second round of editing my first novel -- my murder mystery -- I'm beginning to wonder if it might be a crime against writing.

I'm trying to figure out how, when I read through this the first time and proofread and edited and finagled, I missed just how terrible the first five chapters are. Or is this something that every writer encounters about their first book?

When I sent it out for the first round of friend-reads, I felt it was pretty solid. Now, I know why only one person sent me back a response.

But now I know what I need to do -- or at least I think I know what I need to do -- starting all the way back at the prologue. I'm plotting it out and readjusting my time line. We'll see how that goes.

Going Back, Going Forward

So, in order to reorder my creativity, I've decided to make a two-fold alteration this week in my usual process: I'm going to write one of the future scenes in my active-writing story (thank you for the suggestion, Mike!) and go back to do some editing in an old one.

I like the idea of changing things up. I think a week-long trial won't kill any of my hopes to keep things moving in my main story and I'll get a little more work in on one of my finished stories.

I am a little worried about going back to editing.

I remember this amazing glow when I finished this novel. It might be akin to the feeling you get when you've given birth. (I don't know as I've only recently done the first and never the second -- well, perhaps some day, just not yet.) You've spent months putting energy, focus, and emotion into building, creating this thing piece by piece, block by block, and once you've gotten there there's relief and pride and accomplishment. I did this. I made this. Wow.

The wonderful flush has worn off – and has been for some time now – and now I'm looking back at this thing I've made and every time I look at it, I realize I'm faced with a challenge more daunting than finishing my first novel length work. Editing my first novel length work. I've had a first read through. And a first run of edits. And I've had my moments of cringing and asking myself "how am I ever going to make this work?" Well, I feel better about it than I had when I went through my first run of edits, but as I look into it again, I know I've still got a long way to go.

I've kept a running list of positives (Relatively cohesive! Interesting mythos! Fun characters!) to go along with the negatives in hopes of keeping some perspective. And maybe to give me some things to remember for the future.

Yes. I admit it. I am enamored with the comma. It is (apparently) my foremost punctuation device. It's something I'm working correcting on now: I found a paragraph editing the first round with only two sentences in it. A paragraph that lasts half a page because each sentence goes on with Lyttonesque fervor. Beautiful images, though. I have no doubt that I will find more run on sentences as I go through it another time.

My plot line is a little muddled, and even after the first round of edits, I'm still trying to work that out. But, I have a few ideas after time being away from it, and I'm hoping to see what I can do to make that work.

Well, it'll be something of an experiment, but I'm hoping it goes well. If anyone else has any other suggestions about how I might be able to get my creativity going again, drop me a line.

Here's to this week.