Just Be Brave

For me, 2009's motto has been: Just be brave. Its simple, its three words and it makes a whole lot of sense.

See, I've spent a lot of time allowing my fear of different things to drive me to near legendary distraction. I'm an obsess-over-the-big-picture type of girl. It means I'm really great at looking at all the steps involved in starting a new venture, changing careers, or effectively manage a series of tasks or projects. However, it also means I cripple myself with doubts from the outset-- because my brain has already told me (in no uncertain terms) just how many different things could go wrong or how much work it will take to actually make something successful. It's blistering.

And along came 2009...

See, this year I've just decided to go for things. I wrote a novel, it needs work, but I did it. I successfully changed careers (ok, I left my last job in late November 08--but you get the idea). I became a permanent resident in the UK (that process was overwhelming and the idea of permanently living here still surprises me). This year, I've just been brave.

And then along came NaNo....

Up until the moment I opened my document on November 1st I had no idea what I was going to write about. I had a theme, I had a rough few thoughts that I thought I could stretch out to something interesting, but nothing concrete. After I wrote the first sentence, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, the story I was going to have to work on next was a very old one. It's a story that has had at least six false starts. And of course, my brain decided that this month, this one crazy month of writing, this was the story it was finally ready to tell.

WTF? Right?

I took a deep breath, I resigned myself to another potential false start, and now, at 20800 words in, I'm thinking I might just (finally) finish this novel. Because here's the thing. It's brave to just put the story out there and let the characters do whatever they want. They will be edited later. It's brave to chuck out all my notes and outlines (which never worked in the first place) and just let the story go where it will...I am sure I will be grumbling mightily when it comes time to edit this mess-- but here's the thing, this time I'm sure I'll get to edit this mess, because, I will finish.

So, who else is doing NaNo?